It’s The Most Romantic Time of the Year – Time for a Spring Fling!
By Jim DeBellis
Spring is a time of rebirth and renewal. It’s mating season in the forest for all of the woodland creatures and time for all cavemen to crawl out of their man caves in search of a little loving too. Baseballs are flying at the ballpark, and Frisbees are flying in the city parks. The carwash has lines of cars getting rid of the dirty residues of winter, and the sweaters and long pants are going into the bottom drawer for a nice long break. Guys…it’s time for a spring fling!
Of course, the baseball teams have been warming up and getting in shape since February to prepare for the 162 games of hard competition that are getting underway now. It’s a long season, and those who are not prepared will probably stumble early and be out of the race before the All-Star break.
You have some preparing to do too. The other team (I’m talking about those single, sweet, delicious ladies that we want in our lives) has been getting their bodies “swimsuit ready” since shortly after the last big holiday meal. They are already tan, trim, waxed, dressed, and dolled-up to perfection – and they are looking for a great guy just like you. So, if you want to be in the game you’ve got to be worthy, and then you’ve got to go after them.
Out with the Cobwebs…
It goes without saying that you need to prepare your body, mind, home, and car for the most social and romantic time of the year. If you don’t go to the gym regularly, then it’s time to go for a jog or get on the treadmill. This will jump-start your metabolism and give you the energy and attitude you need to get your vital juices flowing and to clear the winter cobwebs out of your head.
Cut out the junk food, grill a steak or burger outside, replace the Cheesy Puffs with some vegetables, and turn off the TV and game system and go outside. The park or the beach, or even the billiard tables at the pub are a good place to get back into a social state of mind, as long as you are moderate with the carbs and calories in the beer and Buffalo wings.
And don’t forget that your attire matters too – in fact, it really defines you to the women who are judging you with their first look. Get some new jeans, shorts, and shirts. Spend a few extra bucks to shop at the stores that keep up on the trends – and ask a female sales person to help you look good. And please throw away those awful old athletic shoes and get a nice boat shoe or something clean and classy that won’t knock you out of this competitive game.
Okay…you’ve got your body in shape, your appearance presentable, and your mind reasonably clear. Now make sure that you get your apartment and car to project the same kind of sharp and honed image worthy of a smart and sophisticated guy like you (and worthy of the girls of your dreams too).
Think “minimalism.” Get rid of the clutter on the coffee table, bookshelves, and everywhere. Have just one centerpiece or lamp on each polished tabletop and no junk or clothing lying around. Tip: One book, magazine, or conversation piece on the table or arm of the couch can be a great ice-breaker. A book of M.C. Escher’s art will amaze her if she’s never seen it. Pictures from the Hubble Telescope, brainteasers, or even (maybe) 50 Shades of Grey can be great to get a conversation started. Pick something you’re interested in or knowledgeable about, even if it’s a little nerdy. Just don’t overdo the detailed discussion.
Your bedroom should be spotless, your bed should be made, and you should have a candle on your nightstand and condoms in your drawer. Some Marvin Gaye or music she likes should be ready to go with the press of one button in the living room and bedroom as well.
Of course, the most important part is getting the girl. As I said…she will be out there looking for you. But it’s not always easy to make the connection. Here are some tips for success with casual spring dating.
- Try the clubs. She will be looking, but her shields will be up there. She will be expecting and getting mostly jerks with horrible pick-up lines.
- Read her mind: One great approach is to find the groups of three or more girls, and then look for the one that is quiet and the least involved. If she goes out for a cigarette or some fresh air (and over half of the girls in bars do), that’s the best place to approach her. But if not, approach her at the table. Try this after your opening greeting:
“I don’t come out often because I never end up enjoying it. But sometimes I think, well, maybe I’ll meet somebody. Then it turns out to be the same plastic people behaving badly, and I kind of retreat into myself.” That’s exactly what she’s thinking. You’ve nailed her thoughts and her sinking attitude. Now you’ve got something in common, and a real conversation can begin.
- Recruit a Partner in Crime: If you go out alone, find another solo guy in the bar and team up. Guys by themselves can appear to be a little “creepy,” plus girls are always in groups of at least two. They always have pacts that they will not leave the other one alone to go with a guy, but a girl will often “take a bullet” (and entertain the less attractive guy you’re with) so her friend can be with you.
- Try real-life situations. She won’t be looking for a guy, and her shields will be down if you see her at the gas station, Cronut shop, grocery store, dog park, etc. In the clubs and, to a lesser extent, at the beach she will expect that you are out for “only one thing” and will assume the worst about you. But she dreams of meeting her prince by bumping into him in a real situation or even in a little fender-bender. And she won’t have to tell people she met you in a bar. She will see your charm before your baser male motives, and that will also be the part of you that shows through your eyes. Here are a few tips that might help in the real world:
- ABC – Always Be Cognizant: When you’re jogging, pumping gas, buying beer or hot dogs, leaving the movie theater, or at work or school always be on the lookout for the girl of your dreams. Always smile and greet people. Women see your ring finger before they see your face because they are tuned into navigating the single world. You should tune in as well and learn to pick up on the subtle signs of interest, like a smile or a question from the woman.
- Go Where the Girls Are: Of course, it helps if you try to increase your odds of finding a girl for your spring fling (or more) if you put yourself in the right situations. After your jog, stop at the coffee shop or frozen yogurt stand. It’s always easier and more natural to approach her while you’re in line or ordering rather than when she’s sitting at a table, so keep your personality turned on and ready for interaction. Go to the beach, the mall, Happy Hour, the Dog Park, or church. You will be surprised to find how much more open and accepting women are in everyday situations. The same ones who shoot down every man in sight at the nightclub will be warm and conversational at the produce stand at the Farmer’s Market.
Spring only comes once a year, so help a lovely young lady achieve her New Year’s resolution of finding a summer of love with a great guy like you. It all starts with the right attitude, a little preparation, and a running leap into the wonderful world of the spring fling.